Straight Angle™: Conversational Murder!
Thursday, August 25, 2005

Conversational Murder! 

Yesterday being my parents 25th wedding anniversary, hoards of relatives had descended upon our house (that's, what I heard!). There was also a relative whom I had last seen when my Grandpa expired some 9 years ago..after that I hadn’t seen her in any of the functions that I attented..that doesn’t mean that I attended so many functions…it is just that I hadn’t met her for so long. Now, when I called home, my father was kind enough to put me through that person.

From now on, let me revert to the conversational mode, coz, then I can do justice to her. Let she be H and me be M

M: Hello Maami!. Namaskaaram! Eppadi Irrukkael?..Paarthu rombha naal aachu!!..aathulla ellarum sowkiyamaa?

H: Hello! Aaaseervaadham!!, Eppadi irrukae!! Naanga ellam edo irrukkom!

M: Ooo! Nanna Irrukaen!

H: Apparam sollu!!...Eppadi poiyindurukku??

M: Ennadu?

H: Unnoda vaela-ppa!

M: Oh!!..Adukkenna! Naanaavae poagarathu!

H: Ennoda thangai pillaiyum unna maathiri thaan!

M: Oh-oh!...Pant Shirt pottundurupaana?

H: Dai!...athilla da!-Nee innum appadiyae thaan irrukae!!..eppo paaar kurumbhu pannindu!!(this is getting so sweet!!!).... avanum unna maathiri nanna padipaan…(there she goes…a pachai poi….naan- nalla padichaen!...okay!..vara vaaztha, edukku vaendaanganum??).. avanum unna maathiri thaan periya IT companila work panraan!

M: Oh! Ok!

H: TXS’la (I have changed the name)

M: Ummmm…

H: Indiavillaeyae, aduthaan no:1 theriyummo?

M: Ummm…

H: Adu thaan first…Infx’ellam(ie –my company) apparam dhan!

M: Ummm…(there was a muffled smile this side)

H: Baba (Name changed) company-na summavaa???...Madrasla thaan irrukkan!!..Unga companyla ippo edo prichanaiaamae!!...yaaroo paal poitaanaam!


H: Adampa!..Yaro Sugesh paal(name changed) poitaanamae?..enna panna poraa?

M:Maami!..Adu enga company illa....adu Xipro!

H: Unnavopa!...ennakku enna theriyum?..Seri!...nee enda platformla work panrae?

M: Platform no:1

H: Oh!.(she doesn’t seem to have understood –rather even listened, whatever I had told)….Avan, edo Jaavaavaamae- adula irrukkan!..Ippo ennanamo sollra..nammakku enga puriyardhu?


H:Ennanae Language unnakku theriyum?

M:English, Tamil, German, Hindi, Malayalam!

H:Dai!..adu illa da!...Computerla- ennanae language theriyum?

M: Maami!..Naan Languagela work panna maataen!

H: Appo nee enna thaan panrae?...IT companyna computerla work panna maataalo?

M:Maami!...Naan functional consultant!...Ennakum Languagekkum sambhandham illa!

H: Oh..ok!!..seri...apadinna?

M: Enterprise Solutions!...Companykku ellam software implement pannanum!

H: Oh!!...Software Serviceaa?(Now, I clearly see what she is thinking of my job...I only pray, she hadn't yet got my face with a service kit in hand and standing at the gates of the companies!)

M:Illa maami!!...Ennakku Solla theriyalla!...

H:Ennovo, naan-na irrundha seri!...ennakku enna theriyum!


H: Seri...enna sambhalam tharaa?

M:Maami!!..Pommanaati kitta vayasaiyum, aambhalai kitta sambhalathaiyum kaetka koodaathunnu ungallukku naan sola vaendiyadhu illa!

H: Dai!..ellam ennakku theriyum da!...Naan paarthu valarndha paiyan nee!..en kitta enna vaetkam?

M:Vaetkathukku illa maami!..Chumma soli paarthaen!..Unga kittae enna vaektkam ennakku...vaetkka padarathukku idulla enna irrukku!...(With a tinge of pride, I tell her my salary)

H: Nee MBA padichuttu vandadhukku apparammum ivlo dhaan tharaala??...en thangae pulla verum B.E.kku, Rs.XXXXX vaangaraan.....

M:(Stumped here!!...What am I to say....How can I ever make her understand??)..Oh!!..appadiyaa??..Baba companyo illayo!!....adhaan!..(Never mind that the salary quoted is almost 2.5 times less than mine...who cares....)

H: Adu seri!...Baba company illaya!!...Correct!...matha company ellam summa dhaan!.... Seri...eppo America poga poarae?

M: Poga vaendiyathu dhaan!...Eppo koopadraaloo appo!

H: Hmmm...en thangai paiyan, innum 1 varshathulla america poiduvaan!!..avan companyla sollitaalaam!!

M: Very good!..Very Good!

H: Eppo Kalyaanam?

M: Yaarukku?

H: Unnakku thaan da!

M: Maami!...Adukellam innum naal irrukku!..(I sense, this is getting too much now....and realise that I had made the call...so..)..Maami...Appa kitae koncham phonea kudungo!...oru vishayam solla maranthutaen!!

H: Envo da!...en thangai paiyannukku innum 2 varshathulla kalyaanam pannidanummnu sollindurukaen!..paarkalaam!

M: Oh!...naladu maami....very good!...koncham appa kittae phonea kodungo! Please!

H: Seri..seri...ido tharaen!

With this, she hands over the phone to my dad...It feels as if, I had been through some torture session!!...God save her "Thangai Pullai"....

With a laugh that was bordering sarcasm and gaity, my father picked up the phone and said, "enna da....maami kitae paesiniyaa?"...

M: "Aachu...aachu"

F: Enna sonna?

M: Rombha mukiyam!

F: Seri.........and the conversation continued!!


Blogger Chakra Sampath said...

> H: Apparam sollu!!...Eppadi poiyindurukku??
> M: Ennadu?

- nee edhai nenache? ;)

enna daan irundhaalum baba company baba company daan...

i read it twice and couldn't stop laughing.. :)

btw Krish.. one mami felt sorry for me that i worked in a cement company and said that she wd pray for me to get a job in a IT co.

8/25/2005 1:53 PM  
Blogger Cogito said...

Haha..Tamil mamis are relentless . Its a cocktail mix of philosophy,money and ambition !

8/25/2005 9:51 PM  
Blogger Krish said...

@Chakra: Naan edaiyumae nenaikalae!!.. Vambhu!..They are better left that way..not to make any moves, unless pushed to the wall...lest, we would be quoted out of context and lives made difficult....BTW, I can sure understand how U would have felt to have worked in a cement company....that was too good for a laugh!!..still laughing!..It is amazing to see the goodwill the Baba company commands!!..they deserve it..

@Cogito: Seriya sonneenga!!...heady cocktail that too...

8/26/2005 1:11 AM  
Blogger ada-paavi!!!! said...

aragura informationa vecchito mami ongalai saavu adichetangal pola irukku,
cogito all mamis r relentless!

nan economins padikeran enna why economics nu keppeangal, why not IT adu dhana ippo trendnu ellam solluvang (like i need their advice)teriyama ularuvanga!

8/26/2005 2:11 AM  
Blogger Krish said...

@Vatsan: Ammam!!...rombha kashtam!!...Aiyo indha trend padutharae paadu irrukae, adu kodumaida saami!!...Ennaiyum, naan engineering padikkum podu ippadi dhaan sonnanga!..nee edukku Instrumentation(they would never know what is that "Jandhu") padikkarae, IT padika vaendiyadu thaanae-nnu...But, I liked Instrumentation very much...Actually, I always wanted to work in an oil field, refinery..but then, preferrences changed mid way!

8/26/2005 7:31 AM  
Blogger Anupama Viswanathan said...

:))...Had a great time reading this..I was just trying to imagine a face with some reactions relevant to this talk and I was giggling sitting here..Thanks for the entertainment! ;)

8/26/2005 9:19 AM  
Blogger Vani Viswanathan said...

relentless mamis..... ;)
whenever i go home all they talk is about food on campus n suggestions for cooking! nalla yaarkitta enna kekanumnu therinju kepaanga!

8/27/2005 12:37 AM  
Blogger Krish said...

@Anupama: What can I say!!..While I hated it when I was answering the call, it seems to be funny now, when I read what had transpired!!...Hope U didnt imagine me with a service kit in hand ;)

@Vani: Yaar Yaar kitta enna enna kaetta, avanga enna enna kashta paduvaangannu therinju vechirukaanga polarukku!..BTW, that doesnt mean that,U dont know to cook, or would feel bad when asked about cooking!! atleast I hadn't said that..lol ;)

8/27/2005 5:42 AM  
Blogger Matter Mahadevan said...

funny read man - neraya porumai unakku - i wud have cut short after the second dialogue :)

8/29/2005 3:10 AM  
Blogger Krish said...

@Matter: :-)..vera enna sollaradhu?

8/29/2005 4:21 AM  
Blogger Skely said...

Good Hilarious Article.

8/30/2005 1:29 PM  
Blogger Krish said...

@Skely: Welcome Home Skely!!..:-)

8/31/2005 1:03 AM  

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Swarnasrikrishnan/Male/28. Lives in India/Tamilnadu/Chennai, speaks Tamil, English, 

Malayalam, German, Hindi(??). Eye color is black. I am a god. I am also optimistic.
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Swarnasrikrishnan, Male, 28, India, Tamilnadu, Chennai, Tamil, English, Malayalam, German, Hindi(??)

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